Jerry L.’s Freedom House Story

FHAdmin — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 16:52:22 +0000

Jerry L.’s Freedom House Story
Attended August 2002 – Graduated July 2003
Returned December 2006 – Kicked out May 2007

My name is Jerry. I am an alcoholic and a cocaine addict.

I was born in Poland and came to the United States when I was five.
I would like to tell you my parents and family life were terrible, but they were good parents and did a great job adapting to life in the US. My mother and grandma gave me lots of love. Later in life they would unwittingly be my best enablers.

My dad was a workaholic who gave up a good job and life in communist Poland to find a better life and give his family the American dream.

Right away, I felt out of place. I got picked on and made fun of. I didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. At age 10, I went back to Poland on vacation. My first drink of alcohol was given to me by my uncle – Spiritus 190 proof vodka. It took my breath away – I didn’t like the experience. My uncle laughed his ass off.

My first drunk was about a week and a half later with another uncle. We drank 2 bottles of vodka. I puked up my guts and passed out. I didn’t suffer any other consequences from this experience. This uncle would later die from the disease of alcoholism.

I was a big kid by the time I got to high school, so I hung out with older kids. I drank every weekend. I was introduced to pot and smoked a lot – every day, many times a day. I still drank on weekends, and then the weekends became longer and stretched over more days.

I was a good athlete, pretty smart and liked drinking and drugging, so I got along with everyone. Drinking and drugging prevented me from reaching my potential academically and athletically. I didn’t achieve what I could have.

Being a good athlete let me get away with things. The teachers and the police looked the other way. As it turned out, they didn’t do me any favors.

I entered college as a pre-med student to play Division 3 football. This lasted for 2 ½ semesters. I was asked to leave because I didn’t attend classes regularly. I was busy drinking and getting high.

I started selling pot on weekends back in my hometown. I got off easy on my first arrest. The lawyer told my dad that I was a good kid and just needed direction. I didn’t want direction. I thought things were okay the way they were. One of my pot customers ended up being my wife after 3 years. She got pregnant, we married and 11 months later, a second baby was born.

My wife and I used pot, cocaine and alcohol during our 17 year marriage. Both kids grew up without a good role model because of the drinking and drugging for most of their lives. They picked up bad habits – lying, cheating, and stealing. The only coping skills they knew were drinking and getting high.

My kids partied and soon became heroine addicts in their teens. I lost several good jobs because of my drinking and drugging. All my family and business relations were failures and I thought it was everybody else’s fault but mine. My grandma and mother believed all of my lies. My dad was a landlord with expensive equipment. I stole and sold anything that was not nailed down. This didn’t make for good family relations.

My 2^nd to last arrest – I was let off lightly with probation and an IOP program. My lawyer asked if I wanted help – God’s first attempt to smack sense into me. I said yes.

I entered a ½ way house for 11 months and I was clean for 7 months after I left. I was introduced to the rooms of AA and I thought I would be the poster child for recovery. I forgot about being grateful and my Higher Power. I got AA resentments and still felt I was entitled to things and that people owed me. Things were okay, but not good enough.

I went back out for 3 ½ years. I was pulled over for driving while suspended after visiting my older daughter in prison. I wanted to fight the charges but the Public Defender didn’t fight as aggressively as I would have liked. I was offered drug court. I accepted. It was a chance to get clean. I didn’t have a clue about living life. I couldn’t give clean urine for a month. I received 3 sanctions and spent 2 weeks in jail. I believe the reason they let me out of jail was for me to fail and to get me kicked-off of drug court and sentenced me to prison. The prosecutor said that relapse was part of recovery, but it was expected that I be honest. My little mind thought - “what the hell are you talking about? I can’t be honest – I’m an addict.” That’s when I realized I wasn’t fooling anybody and I couldn’t be honest. I started getting honest right then and there. I went to Freedom House again for 5 months. I got kicked out for self-defeating behavior. My counselor told me I could stay sober, just not at Freedom House. Luckily, Freedom House re-enforced AA – getting a sponsor, a home group, and a strong network. After I got kicked out, I kept going to a couple of meetings daily, I continued to talk to my network and I worked the 12 Steps with my sponsor. I learned to pray and got a Higher Power in my life.

I enjoy life today because I know I can live life without drinking and getting high. I owe a lot of my happiness to FH because they protected me from myself and introduced me to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. The guidance and counseling I received there got me going on the right track of life. For that I am grateful and probably not grateful enough.

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Freedom House Success Stories

FHAdmin — Fri, 04 May 2007 17:00:50 +0000

We are very proud of our alumni. They have worked hard and their progress is remarkable. Follow their inspirational stories here. Keep checking back.